BIKER WISDOM
* Life may begin at 40, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 110 mph!
* Midnight bugs taste best.
* Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
* Never try to race an old geezer; he may have one more gear than you.
* It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
* The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
* Never be afraid to slow down.
* Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
* Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of fuel before you can think straight.
* Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
* Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
* Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.
* If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.
* A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.
* Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived.
* Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.
* A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.
* Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
* Always back your bike into the curb, and sit where you can see it.
* Work to ride and ride to work.
* Two-lane blacktop isn't a highway - it's an attitude.
* When you look down the road, it seems to never end, but you better believe it does.
* Winter is Nature's way of telling you to polish.
* Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.
* People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
* Sometimes, the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.
* Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil.
* The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
* The twisties, not the super slabs, separate the riders from the squids.
* When you're riding lead, don't spit.
* A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
* Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
* If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.
* There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
* Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're going.
* Practice wrenching on your own bike.
* Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
* Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.
* Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.
* A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel.
* If you can't get it going with bungee cords and electrician’s tape, it's serious.
* If you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be.
* Gray-haired riders don't get that way from pure luck.
* There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders.
* Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save your butt from 'road rash' if you go down.
* The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
* Always replace the cheapest parts first.
* You can forget what you do for a living when your knees are in the breeze.
* Only a Biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.
* There are two types of people in this world, people who ride motorcycles, and people who wish they could ride motorcycles.
* It is good to have an end to journey; but it is the journey that matters in the end.
California vs. Texas
Two California bikers are riding through Texas when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The trooper walks up and stands there for a second, then whacks the biker with his night stick on the head. The rider slumps over his handlebars for a minute then comes to and asks, "WTF was that for?"
he trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your ride." Not wanting to make his situation with the law any worse, the rider says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here." The trooper runs a check on the guy's license and it comes up clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around the back of the first bike and as he steps up next to the second rider the trooper smacks him with the nightstick on the head too.
After he recovers, the somewhat dazed biker asks, "Hey, Man!! What was that for?" The trooper answers, "Just making your wishes come true." Still incredulous, the biker follows up with, "Huh?" The trooper says, "I know how you California bikers are. Two miles down the road you're gonna look over at your buddy and shout, "I wish that redneck mutha would've tried that crap with me!"
Top Ten Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave Back
10. Afraid it will invalidate warranty
9. Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
8. Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
5. Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
4. Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned
by those rice-burner manufacturers.
3. Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
1. They're jealous that after spending $30,000, they still don't own a Gold Wing.
Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don't Wave Back
10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture.
9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip .
8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm .
7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
6. The expresso machine just finished .
5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved .
4. Was in a three-way conference call with stock broker and accessories dealer .
3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.
2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD
player, seat temperature and satellite navigation system .
1. Couldn't find the "auto wave back" button on dashboard.
Remember..... Friends dont let friends ride Harleys
98% of all Harleys ever sold are still on the road...... The rest of them made it home.
